community teamwork communication understanding weallunite nonviolent communication core needs communication relationships workshops situations family argument conflict resolving resolution understanding needs being heard active listening events ama ask me anything

Members are improving social situations

Hello, wonderful person!

A lot of stuff happened this week with our members


  • Our Open CNC (Core Needs Communication) Practice event was rescheduled to Tuesday this week since I was busy on Monday, and the event was very interesting
    • One of our members shared a personal situation with their mother telling them certain expectations that they didn’t feel good about. As we talked through it, I shared CNC skills they could use to understand why certain things were being said, and although they were scared to even have that conversation at first, with some help, they came up with something they can say to their mother to start shifting that situtation closer towards what they want. We have a summary of this (and others) posted in our Discord community
    • Another member shared their worries about how to start a conversation with someone without offending them or making them uncomfortable. The first part of what they learned during our chat was how to think about and share Observations (CNC skill #1) to start any conversation openly and neutrally in a way that can deepen the conversation, change the subject, and more. We also talked about how they can share their interests and desires with the other person in a way that is isn’t pressuring or uncomfortable, but instead by making an Effective Request (CNC skill #4) where the other person would be more comfortable and open to considering it. Again, a summary of this is posted in our Discord
  • Our Deep Dive this week was about Starting Conversations, and we actually started so many conversations that we went off on tangents several times away from the main topic of the Deep Dive! I kept bringing the topic back, but if you read the bullet point above this about the Open CNC Practice event, then you’ll recognize what I’m about to say next: one method I shared to start conversations is by using Observations (CNC skill #1) to notice aspects about the other person or things they said, share those Observations with them, and ask Discovery Questions about those things. A summary of this is also posted in our Discord
  • For our AMA, another new person participated, spoke with their voice, and shared their camera for the first time since joining the server. They asked what I think are very thoughtful questions about how CNC works, how it can be used in certain circumstances that they believed didn’t fit into CNC, and a bunch of other questions I enjoyed answering. By the end, they told me how their experience in the AMA was, and I found it interesting, because of what they told me: they said they were confused in the AMA because they’re used to being told what to do, but I put a strong emphasis on CNC simply being a skillset they can choose to use if they want to achieve certain things, and they said this helped them consider that they can think for themself. I’m glad they told me that the way I communicated had this kind of effect on them
  • I chatted with a good friend of mine who’s an Agile coach, scrum master, and pilot, and when he asked about Ugeddit’s current progress (which I appreciate), he asked me some questions that reminded me of things I now think are obvious after-the-fact: in-person CNC events, and prepaid/ticketed events we only hold if we get a minimum number of attendees. The reason for in-person events about communication skills is obvious, and the prepaid ticket model measures demand early on without putting effort into something nobody ends up attending, plus the fact people paid means they take it more seriously when they do attend

Next steps

  • Implementing the feedback our members shared this week, particularly around adding use cases (example situations and walkthroughs) to online system for the CNC Skill Tree that people can use
  • Training up the most active and dedicated of our members to master CNC, so they can reach CNC lv3, and maybe become Teachers, as soon as possible

How you can help

  • If you know someone wanting to improve their social & people skills, effective communication, relationships, conflict resolution, sales ability, or other related areas, tell them about Ugeddit:
  • Send me your questions about how you can use CNC to benefit your mindfulness, business, relationships, or other areas

Always moving forward